Japan's Snack Champion

Japan is the undisputed snack champion. I know your American pride makes that hard to accept, but it's true. Kaki no tane, a mix of peanuts and spicy rice crackers, is the best bar snack you can find. Hello Panda brings joy to the children. Bokun Habanero brings pain to adults. They have more Kit Kats than they have people. They created the best named cookie on Earth, Couque D'Asses. There are entire websites dedicated to providing the Western world with just a glimpse of what the Japanese get to snack on daily. But there is one true king of Japanese snacks.

Pocky.

Strawberry Pocky

Strawberry seems to be the flavor that most Americans have tried. I thought about doing research into what flavor first arrived on our shores, but then I decided I didn't really care. The Japanese love strawberry flavored snacks. The flavor is a lot like the strawberry Nesquik flavor I occasionally drank as a child—that milky, fruity taste we all know and love. The color, Pepto pink, is not the sexiest.

It's not my favorite Pocky, but it holds a special place in my heart. My first (Pocky) love.

 pocky strawberry cream

pocky strawberry cream

 pocky strawberry cream close up

pocky strawberry cream close up

Cookies and Cream

Now we're talking! In Japan and most Asian markets, you'll still find this in the classic Panda box, something that Pocky USA has done away with. Americans hate pandas. They're so lazy, they won't even have sex with each other. It's like they want to go extinct.

Good call by the marketing team to remove that apathetic, oversized cat and give the American people what they want: Oreos.

They taste like pretty much every cookies and cream treat you've had before, which means they're milky, chocolatey, goddamn delicious, and on an easy to eat stick so your fingers won't get dirty.

 pocky cookies cream sticks box

pocky cookies cream sticks box

 pocky cookies cream close up

pocky cookies cream close up

Matcha

If you're not a fan of matcha (green tea) flavored foods, you can leave now. I don't want your kind on here, you heathen. I consume matcha Pocky like a smoker. Sometimes you're on the run and you just can't get your liquid green tea fix, so you've gotta grab a stick or two or ten.

The smooth classic matcha is always a solid choice, but the pro's know to look for the matcha and chocolate crunch Pocky. All that flavor and all that crunch aren't for rookies, though. Start with this. Work your way up.

 pocky green tea box

pocky green tea box

 pocky match macro close up

pocky match macro close up

Chocolate Midi

It's easier if I just show you what the Chocolate Midi is all about:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oE_OxbaMFw

Okay, that probably wasn't very helpful. No, the Midi Pocky isn't a pillow or a log. It's just a shorter, fatter Pocky with a layer of whipped or airier chocolate, then coated in the normal smooth chocolate. They're like little baseball bats. They have Midi matcha, but I've yet to find it. I bet it's the best one yet.

 pocky midi box

pocky midi box

 pocky midi chocolate macro close up

pocky midi chocolate macro close up

Otona No Miruku Pocky

The packaging talks about the stick being different, more like pie crust, and the chocolate being milkier, but these are basically just the classic chocolate Pocky sticks you can find at pretty much any store that sells snacks these days.

Is it anything special in the wide world of Pocky? No. Does it have a box that screams "classy"? Yes.

 pocky dark chocolate box milky

pocky dark chocolate box milky

 pocky dark chocolate close up

pocky dark chocolate close up

Coconut Pocky

Part of Pocky's elusive "Resort" series, these coconut sticks are my jam. They taste like Samoas! And unlike Samoas, people around you don't realize that's what you're eating. How awful is it when you're trying to chow down on your Girl Scout cookies and some fat coworker comes by begging for a couple? Piss off, Bob.

Now you can enjoy your chocolate and coconut snack in secret. Just tell people it's almond crunch or something.

 pocky coconut box

pocky coconut box

 pocky coconut close up

pocky coconut close up

Chocolate Banana

The chocolate banana Pocky holds a special place in my heart: it's the worst. I know this is "Friday Favorites," but I'm your friend and I needed to warn you. These have that terrible fake banana taste you'll find in some candies—that weird chemical flavor that seems to stick in your mouth forever. Not oishi.

 pocky chocolate banana

pocky chocolate banana

 pocky chocolate banana close up

pocky chocolate banana close up